Sunday, August 28, 2016

Floating the Basket Down The Kindergarten Hallway

Anyone what knows me knows that I was struggling with sending my baby to kindergarten this year. I have been struggling with it since pre-k graduation in May.

I read an article from another mom struggling with it. It related letting our kids complete milestones to Moses' mother. She had to trust God when she placed her baby boy in that basket and let it float down the river.

For me it's not about trusting God where my kids are going next. It's about letting go of such a sweet time in our lives. Well, I guess it is about trust. Trusting that the next chapters that will be written will have precious time and sweet, sweet memories like these. This precious time when Mommy is one of the very most important things to my kids. They will always be one of the very most important things in my life, but as they grow and mature and yes, go to kindergarten, that will start to change for them. And I know that's a good thing; they need their independence. If they did not do things like go to kindergarten and become independent it would be because something was wrong.

I had my prepartum depression about my baby going to school this year. Sunday night I cried. I was worried about both of us. Whenever I tried to pep talk him he would put his hand to my mouth and ask me to stop taking about school.
On the drive there he told the bigs there were only 5 more days of school before they got a break. That's right--before he even attended a single day he was counting the days before the weekend.

But I put on my big girl panties, I got that basket out, I placed Elijah Walker into it, and I floated him down the kindergarten hallway. I was a little teary-eyed, but Lijee did not know that. He was too busy doing big boy things like putting his backpack in his locker and finding his name tag. Which is exactly what he should be doing. Through my sadness I am praising God that I got to spend ten of the most precious years at home with my kids. And now all 3 of them are happy to go to school. That makes me happy.

(Don't be fooled. As I'm typing this all alone in the dark and I don't have to be brave for anyone else, a few tears are slipping out.)

We started the day before kindergarten gift on Sunday night.  Eli had really been wanting some army tanks. He and Daddy found some on-line and ordered them a week or so ago, so he had been waiting (im)patiently for them.

We love our teachers.
 My Biggy BooBoo walked in like he has been going up to school for the past five years. Finding his locker on Meet The Teacher was one of his favorite parts of the night, so he was ready to get his new backpack in there.
 He got to find his name tag and pick where he wanted to sit.
 He looks a little sad in this picture, but he was not. Probably sad that his mom kept taking pictures and wouldn't leave.
 Our annual tradition: ice cream after the first day of school. The only thing missing was Grannie.
 
 Latergram:
3rd day of 3rd grade gift
5th day of 5th grade gift
 
Update:
Day 3 - Lijee did not want to be hugged and kissed when I dropped him off. My 3rd and 5th grader still indulge me, mind you. And I met them in the hallway on the way out after school. He wouldn't hold my hand because he had to wait until they were outside and he high fived his teacher good bye.
***
And the basket gently floats down the river.
 I trust you, God, with the future.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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