I'm Not Clairvoyant, But I Can See the Future

I am not clairvoyant, but I can tell you that Zekers is going to be the last one to sleep at slumber parties. The boy who puts shaving cream on another little guy's hand and then tickles his nose to try to get him to smack himself in the face. Or the one who puts his sleeping friend's hand in a bowl of warm water to see if he will pee the bed. Or the fraternity boy who writes all over his pledge brother's face with a sharpie because he passed out first. I am not clairvoyant, but I know this because last night we let him sleep with us. After the lights went out, Daddy started snoring in two to three minutes, tops. With disgust dripping from his voice, Zeke disparaged, "Ding-dong Daddy went to sleep already."