Things were getting pretty cramped inside my one room suite my Mommy likes to refer to as 'The Belly.' So I decided to come out a few days early. I started my decent and kicked the hormones into gear at 12:45 am, April 3rd. She got contractions and by 3:30 am they were 3 minutes
apart, so Mommy and Daddy drove to hospital (the Brits leave off the article 'the'). I was trying to keep dropping into position, but my head was getting stuck on her pelvis bone. Mommy was dilated to 1. Contractions stopped since I stopped moving down south, so midwife sent us all home around noon on Monday. As soon as we got home the hormones took over a
nd Mommy got contractions about 8 minutes apart beginning at 12:30 pm. They continued all afternoon without cease, increasing (or decreasing?) to 7 minutes apart, then 6. At 9:00 pm they were 5 minutes apart and had never stopped since noon-thirty. Mommy called hospital and they said wait until they were 3 minutes apart. Momma was in such pain by that time I felt bad for her so I kicked that bag around me that the Brits refer to as 'waters.' Success! Hospital said we could come in then. We arrived at hospital around 10:00 pm and midwife was busy in 'theatre' (surgery) till about 1
0:30 or so. Momma was dilated to 4; Mom and Dad decided an epidural was needed, so we waited for the doctors to come at 11:30 to administer it. The first time it hit a blood vessel, so they had to take it out and insert it a 2nd time. Boy, was it worth it for Mommy!! After about 10 minutes she felt no more pain. Around 3:00 am Tuesday morning midwife Catherine became concerned that I was not moving. Can you blame me--I had been trying to drop for the past 27 
hours, but I just kept bumping my head and getting stuck. These doctors came in and started reaching up trying to poke me in the head. Yikes! They took 2 samples of my blood to make sure I had enough oxygen. Since I did but I was still resting, midwife stuck this probe thing in my head to monitor me that stayed in there until birth. When she was doing that she told Mommy I was upside down. How was I supposed to know--I thought head down was good enough; I didn't know I 
also had to be face down. I guess that's why I kept bumping my head on Mommy's pelvis bone. Midwife said I had tried so hard that my head was oblong. By this time Mom was dilated to 6 and she had a fever. The doctors were worried because she had the fever for such a long time. They gave her medicine for that and put something in her drip (petocin or something like that) to speed up her dilation. By 10:00 Momma was dilated to 10 and our new midwife Lorraine called the doctors in because she was sure that a big boy like me couldn't 
make it out of that tiny little crawl space; plus my head was all swollen since I had been trying so hard. The doctor told Mom to push for a bit and see if anything happened. Lorraine was so sweet that every time she told Mom what a great job she was doing and keep pushing, just a little more, great work, etc. Nothing. I'll tell you what did happen--she literally pushed the crap out of me! When I didn't move at all, they decided we needed an emergency C-section because I couldn't budge any more. 
They rushed us off, including Daddy, down to theatre. Momma got some morphine so she wouldn't feel a thing and Papa got to watch it all. Once they were ready, they found merconium. I told you Mommy pushed the crap out of me. This was kind of serious, because if I swallowed any I could get brain damage. I held my breath as long as possible and they were very skilled, so all was well. Clearly I couldn't be 
typing this if I wasn't well in the head. Anyway, I came out at 11:24 am on Tuesday, April 4th, weighing 8 pounds 3.5 ounces and 49.5 centimeters (19.5 inches). Mommy began consistent contractions just 23 hours earlier. The morphine did quite a trick on my Mom. She couldn't form words, let alone sentences. The doctors and team were speaking English with an Indian accent and Mom was speaking English with an American accent, so once she got slurred no one except Daddy could understand her, so he had to tr
anslate everything she tried to say for awhile. I came out quickly and began bonding with my folks while they were putting Mom back together. There was another problem with soft tissue not stitching together or something, but I know some of you may squirm at all the details. Dad got an action photo of me coming straight out of The Belly if anyone wants to see some drama. They eventually got 
everything put back in right, but the extra medicine made Momma get sick right there in theatre. The 3 of us and Lorraine went to post-op for about 7 hours or so. They said Mommy's blood pressure went up pretty high, so they watched it closely as it slowly came back down. We went to the post-delivery ward that evening. They kept me and my Mom
in hospital until Friday. We got a little restless in there, but Mommy's cut was quite tender. First thing I did when I got home was meet my big sister Etrigan. She's real nice. A little curious, but mostly keeps to herself. It's good to be home. My Mommy and Daddy love me lots and lots.